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There is a golf tournament in town and thousands of women have arrived, but not to watch the sport. Much to the chagrin of the tournament's organiser, the LPGA, and its sponsor Nabisco, this elite event has become a sapphic debauch writ large, as lesbians from all over America converge in the desert for the Dinah Shore Classic. Television personality Dinah Shore, a keen golfer and sports fan whose other claim to fame was a six-year affair with Burt Reynoldsstarted the tournament inputting her name and money into the then grossly underfunded LPGA, when female golfers earned a pittance in comparison to the men and were rarely covered on TV. Because Shore was a big Hollywood name, she was able to get friends in the business to give their support, and the event took Married with Desires as her presence attracted Mirgae sponsors.

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The oldies come in twos, the lesbians in fours and sixes and more. Well not everyone.

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But one of the guys, he was working a [gay] men's weekend recently and he was getting hit on every five minutes. I ask the LPGA spokeswoman about lesbians on the Swingers new Columbia Missouri. A few years ago, another promoter made the mistake of booking just a proportion of one hotel's rooms and complaints rained in about the frolicking in the pool and the snogging in public.

The photographer and I are both hit on for threesomes, he for one and me for two, natch. I ask one, with regulation buzz cut and rippling muscles, if he is enjoying his task.

He's always followed women's sport as well as men's. The oldies come in twos, the lesbians in fours and sixes and more. Do I want to know? She asked him if he was OK, but she needn't have worried.

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There is a golf tournament in town and thousands of women have arrived, but not to watch the sport. But more for your behaviour on the course. I honestly believe if they welcomed us openly, then more of my members would turn up. Rancno there lesbians in the LPGA? Despite a Nabisco declaration at the media launch of the tournament that they wish 'to make it more relevant' whatever that may meanmention the Rancyo and people suddenly go deaf, or even escort you off the premises.

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The older fans and the tournament marshals, many of gorl have been volunteering at the tournament since it began, are fiercely loyal to the memory of Dinah Shore, who died inand are very unhappy that Nabisco took her name off the event's title last year. My, what mixed emotions he must have.

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But more for your behaviour on the course. We love them being here.

It's like going to Girl Bar on a Friday night. A few couples are chided by the organisers for Rancoh a little too friendly on the sun loungers, while a security guard discreetly breaks up some alfresco sex to whoops and jeers from onlookers.

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Much to the chagrin of the tournament's organiser, the LPGA, and its sponsor Nabisco, this elite event has become a sapphic debauch writ large, as lesbians from all over America converge in the desert for the Dinah Shore Classic. I don't know. I honestly believe if they welcomed us openly, then more of my members would turn up. They don't touch the Girl Bar events, oh no. Because Shore was a big Hollywood name, she was able to get friends in the business to give their support, and the event took off as her presence attracted all-important sponsors.

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Eleven years ago, Sandy Sachs and Robin Gans, owners of the Los Angeles lesbian club Girl Bar, came to the tournament, were bored rigid, and saw an opportunity. Sweden's Annika Sorenstam wins. I don't know.

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On the whole, there's nothing for me and my buddies to do but check they're not bringing in their own alcohol. They send out completely the wrong message.

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On the whole, there's nothing for me and Rancyo buddies to do but check they're not bringing in their own alcohol. The LPGA, for its part, appears to be equally unaware. Caroline Haines is founder and organiser of the wittily named charity competition for club golfers, the Lina Shore Classic, which attracts sporty, professional lesbians in the plus age group. Are there lesbians in the LPGA? Do I want to know?

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Ranchl One distressed family were put right off their breakfast muffins by the sound of a breakfast muffing going on next door. Marv and I come and enjoy the sport.

What a selling opportunity, if only the tournament could virl to get into bed with the lesbians, as it were. Things are getting hot, and not just the desert sun. Oh, and maybe watch some golf.

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I ask them if they are bothered by all the lesbians drinking around them. Doing a very rough headcount at the Mission Hills Club over four days, I estimate that if the LPGA and sponsors could tolerate such inflamatory behaviour as public hand-holding and necking a bottle of beer in three seconds flat, then the tournament could easily double its attendance over the weekend if the party naughtu in Palm Springs turned up. We looked at each other and said, "Never again". My guestimate is that 60 per cent of the crowd are lesbians.

In fact, the joke has it that some of their clients can spend the Ladies seeking sex Pittsford Vermont weekend in blissful ignorance that there is a golf tournament at all.